I never had to have surgery for the air around my bowels, thank god! I did get to go on the roof with my family to see the fireworks! We were the only ones allowed up there, It was awesome. I love my Nurses and doctors! I did not have to have surgery. I think my bowels are fine now. I don't know if I can tell you everything that has been going on since it has been so long since I have written, and there is a reason for that. I have not been feeling to well, I don't know what is going on. I felt great for a while after the hospital and now my joints hurt, my head and neck hurts, my whole body aches and I am depressed. I thought about not telling the whole truth about what I am going through because I don't want anyone to worry, but it needs to be said for those who truly want to know exactly how it feels to be going through all of this. I am in therapy once a week now which is helping with my depression. But when I allowed my therapist to talk with one of my doctors, the one that per scribes me all of my drugs, things went a little down hill.  I guess the  both of them thought I was so depressed that they had to put me on the strongest depressant and have me stay on my current depressant. the depressants are paxal (the one I have been on for a few months) and Effexor (the strongest).  The first day I took this combination I felt like I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off and really happy. I went from having a hard time moving to caring heavy baskets of laundry up and down the stairs, cleaning my room bathroom and in no more than two hours. I couldn't stop moving, tapping, shaking, my brain going crazy. a few days latter the drug Effexor, that had three pages of side effects, started to take me down hill. I was in a hell I could not get out of. I don't know how to explain it but I felt like I was the most insane person in the world, in pain so much pain physically and emotionally. My mom called the doctors and they thought I was going suicidal on them. I didn't feel like I was going to kill myself because of my spirituality and family but if I was on that drug for one more day who knows what could have happened. This is the day after and I am still feeling a little crazy, the doctor said three days to get out of my system. for my pain they changed me from methadone (which was also making me crazy) to a patch. I can tell you right now it is not working very well. But anyways my mom and I will get it all handled our next visit and I will be fine. I just hope this is over soon, I want to be normal, I now, what is normal? to me normal is how I used to feel about 10 months ago. For now I will try to keep my head held high, be positive and soak inn the love that is all around me. I love you all and may god always be with you!

~*SaRaH*~